or a big giant arse that shits big giant arses at you for looking a bit like an arse critic

or a medium-sized giant arse that somehow shits even bigger giant arses at you because it's got you mixed up with arsene wenger

or a tiny giant arse that's got a vacuum cleaner at the other end with its on switch triggered by insults directed towards the arse

or a depressed arse that thinks it's fat

or a scrawny arse with diarrhea

or the arse that dare not speak its name because it's an arse

or the arse that bleeps

or an arse that takes criticism on the arse and tries to be a better arse

or an arse that decides to react to criticism by proving the criticism just and spends the rest of eternity trying to torment you with the precise action you criticised it for

that would be a very anal arse

indeed it would be.

and a passive aggressive one

well the arse wouldn't want to get kicked by being aggressive aggressive would it?

if it was a masochistic arse it mght

True. But how many masochistic arses do you meet?