I lock everything at night and I lie awake shivering until the sun crests the horizon, when I get up and close the curtains knowing that the darkness has gone.

I posted syphilis spores through both your letterboxes...

dammit! she's too smart for us!

Feeling anything yet...

Oh why do I have to have sex with my leterbox, every time!

Easy mistake Pliny.

yes - easy to confuse slot and slut with the hall light off.

As long as it's got a box.

Although the siphillis is annoying whats worse is my embarrassment after my housemates complaints about musty post...

A price which you have to pay.

Not me I say it was the postman, besides I'd rather be the postman than the post box! But would I prefer to be the post box or the post pillar?

I wouldn't fancy being a pillar box cos you have a pair of hands rumaging around your insides at varying intevals of the day and then all your insides are taken out and just when your being feed, the hands come back, have a rumage then they take it all again. Would you want that happen to you??

twould be an easy way to lose weight...

But an invasion of privacy.

Thats true, but I suppose as a public funded ornament you can't have privacy, like being the Queen