Duh... What's my name?

Keir?

No, that's me.

Oh I got confused, your posts are so similar sometimes its hard to say whose who...

You se, what I think you just did there was to confuse our supposed posts looking so similar with you looking at a baboon at London Zoo.

hmm... I think thats rather unlikely

I'll give you a moment to think about that. I said think.

Its been several days and I still don't get it

Then there is no hope for you. I suggest you stuff popcorn up your nostrils and wait.

Umm... its not working

OK, try to stop breathing as well.

Its quite hard to do that, i tried fifteen times already and I got no dice...

ok, just stab yourself until you see loads of red stuff coming out.

I'm not allowed sharp objects, all I have is my rapier wit.

No, I think you'll find you lost that a long time ago. All you have left is a lump of cheese on a piece of bagel under your bed next to Gary the Gay Goldfish Posing As A Dolphin.