Damned Henny Lom 'pon her pee day, star Lou peeks at me in a sherry banter florist? You're not a tabloid newspaper with only the headlines, there's no reason for you to use vague phrases like 'star Lou' and expect me to know who you mean, and what's Henny Lom supposed to be, is Henny Herbert Lom's wife or something? Or his sister? And what's all this about a pee day? People pee several times a day, they don't have a day on which they pee, or at least I've never heard of it, and given that it would be very unusual I think I'd have heard if it ever happened. I suspect there is no connection at all between your two clauses, I don't know why you made them both part of the same sentence, I suppose you think it's arty or something. Whoever this 'star Lou' is by the way, did you just happen to see him/her there one time or are you both regulars? I must say if it was me I'd get pretty irritated by the samey booze chat every time I went in and go to a different florist instead next time, even though I wouldn't be in there very often, if you are a regular why are you buying flowers so often? While not as insane as Pliny's tales you do seem to be expending energies on some rather pointless pursuits - I suggest you have a good think about what you're doing with your life.

Pie Suggs! 'Lest two naves make wood sinks and shout "lot two, car chewing fizz for Fife!"?!?!?!? Keir these cryptic warnings; they have to stop, this is not God talking through you, this is stupidity, perhaps even insanity. How would pieing Suggs, presumably in the face, stop two ruffians from making wood sinks? Anyway even if it did why would a wooden sink, as ineffective as they are, bother you so much. No. I suspect it is the fact that they have auctioned car chewing fizz, which has been bought by Fife, your rival town? and you hope by pieing suggs in the face you will stop or atleast change the date of it, how selfish are you? not only do you want to invaldate a perfectly legal translation, but you're ordering someone else to do your dirty work! You make me sick keir, SICK!

shoe cake see Vic near sick? Are you meaning this sketch? That's not what happens at all, Vic doesn't even try the shoe cake, time and time again you present yourself as some kind of comedy expert but are found wanting when it comes to the matter of accuracy. I don't know how you expect your insights to have any credibility when you think Alexei Sayle rose to fame in The Royle Family, with his catchphrase 'innit marvellous.' I think you'd better start doing your research, or stop mouthing off.