for me? thank you!

You're welcome! After you open it, keep the gift paper and send the pressie back to me.

That seems rather silly.

Not your problem. You don't get one.

serves you right for being so curmudgeonly, Pliny!

It's not my fault I was born this way! (It's almost enough to make me want to curse God)

That's right...blame someone else. It's always someone else's fault isn't it.

I blame the government.

"It was the fault of the government I was walking down the street When I tripped up on a discarded banana skin And on my way down I caught the side of my head On a protruding brick chip It was the government's fault It was the fault of the government I was very let down From the budget I was expecting a one million quid handout I was very disappointed It was the government's fault It was the fault of the government I beecame semi-automatic type person And I didn't have a pen And I didn't heve a condom It was the fault of the government I think I'll emigrate to Sweden or Poland And get looked after properly by government" The Fall, Dog Is Life/Jerusalem

Very nice. I want a million quid now.

Quite shite. I want to kill myself now.

i'd rather you didn't

Awww, really? You see, this is why you are my favourite. I hope Pliny is taking notes. Because you are so kind Keir, you have fully use of my credit card in my own supermarket 'Cressco' (but only for 20mins) GO!

I stole a crunchy cress bar hehe...

Police!!!!