i gave rich a penguin book on wednesday night it had the young jenny agutter and a goose on the cover i was at the side of the place just before 8 having a smoke and i saw rich coming up the side, i waved when he got close i said 'Keir. I've got a present for you.' I got the book out of my bag and gave it to him. 'Jenny and a goose, you can't beat that' I said. 'That's true' he said. 'Your least favourite seating arrangement' I said, referring to his recent mention in warming up that the 'cabaret' seating was his least favourite seating arrangement, but he didn't seem to get it. Perhaps he didn't know the seating arrangement for this show yet. 'I'll see you inside' he said, reminding me of Bill Bailey 'going home for his dinner.' He seemed a little uncomfortable, possibly due to his diaorrea, although I didn't know at the time he had it. But it was great to play Rich to his Bill, except I had no shame.

ha! you have no shame

well why should it be ashamed? it's not like i wanked into the book first actually that's got me wondering about what he meant by "i'll look after it" which he said after thanking me for it at the end of our chat at the bar afterwards...

very good...

what is?

your story, carry on

i thought it was finished i'm afraid

well pretend like you've just found out it's not finished and continue

ok - he had to go and have a shit cos of his diaorrhea

wow, what an exellent imaginative ending, it was perfect

actually that was his actual reason given for leaving

it should be a film, you can have a "based on a true story" disclaimer at the start and everything

i think it would need a lot of padding out perhaps a lot of me watching rich's set in the middle and me walking to the venue then walking home again afterwards, ten minutes each way i had no broadband due to a line fault that night, they fixed it the next day, but i was waiting for ages to get through to them on the phone before the show before i gave up because it was time to go, perhaps we could use that. Start with me losing my connection then just being on hold for half an hour. That's bold film-making.

aye, well nothing could be so boring as the original night of the living dead so I think we've got a case

spielberg's interested but he wants me to do a new treatment for it as a vehicle for Gwyneth Strong, I don't think I'll bother, I'll take it elsewhere