I have a hollow ostrich egg

is it painful?

Not really, not until it comes out anyway.

when is it due?

January 2008

phew, a good while yet

yup, but when it does it will be a hit at the box office

don't count your ostrich eggs before they hatch

I laid 'em, I can count 'em

Yours aren't worth anything though

And why not??

because they are too soft and not worthy of smashing, if you froze them however... oooooh the possibilities would be endless

I am not freezing my eggs.

fine just sit on them then.

You are never coming anywhere near my eggs buster.